This past week I had surgery to remove the screw that was holding my leg together. My first unassisted steps since the accident were quite painful, and my leg looks like it belongs on Benjamin Button, but I can walk. With my recovery on track, I have the opportunity to return to Morocco to continue my Peace Corps service.
Good news, right?
Since I broke my leg I have been forced to re-evaluate alot of things in my life. I will not go into all of my conclusions here, but the important ones follow:
-It sounds cheezy but, life doesn't come with a map (but alot of people will try to sell you theirs)
-I will not always come out of things unharmed
-"You're not alone" is BS. When it comes down to it, you absolutely are (but it can be nice to hear)
-Self-determination is the key to my happiness
When I found out I wouldn't be going back to Morocco for a few months, I thought to myself "that doesn't change anything, I'll finish what I started." In fact, I have kept a scrap of paper in my pocket this whole time which has a note that I wrote myself on the plane with reasons why I must return.
But alot can happen in 3+ months. I went to South America, I re-thought some things, I put in some applications for grad and law school, and I found photography.
Peace Corps service is really difficult. You have to learn a couple new languages, a culture, start a new life, make new friends, self-direct work and execute in tough circumstances, integrate and gain acceptance into a skeptical community, just for starters. Being away this long the mind naturally wanders on to the next adventure, and trying to get it back on track to Morocco has proven difficult.
Then I pull that note out of my pocket.
Why I must return
-The kids (the center of my work, and most of my days)
-Larry & Whitey (my dog & cat)
-Ait Hamza (the village where two very awesome friends live)
-Bou Iblane (the mountain)
-Fes
-Tamarmoucht (the local language)
I look at this list and I compare it to a list of other things I could be doing, and I realize that the things I love about Morocco will not wait. Law school, a photographic odyssey through Pakistan, all those other things will.
I have made my decision.
3 comments:
You've been on quite a journey, friend. I'm happy to see it leads back here - but I'd have understood if you'd gone the other way.
Can't wait to see you again.
:)
Liz
yippie! i have no awesome life quotes to hand you but i am very glad to observe a bit of your journey since you left, your beautiful photographs, and your decision to make it back to ait uxamnsh g lmagrib. there are more than two good friends awaiting in Ait Hamza for ya.
whitey misses you. so do we.
hope to see you soon, inshallah.
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